It seems Sunday afternoons are now about writing, reflecting and sometimes sharing. So check out this photo…. of a great big empty wall. The same wall that up until last Thursday held my TV, DVD player and router.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to going through withdrawals. I’ve grown surprisingly dependent on using the TV as a source of distraction when feeling overwhelmed, of solace when feeling lonely, of entertainment when feeling bored and even for exploring Christianity when my need to know God wasn’t satisfied by reading, church and prayer.
So what possessed me to give the whole kit and caboodle away? Two reasons… First, I was spending way too much time watching, including when work had to be done and deadlines were looming. I’d get overwhelmed so I’d leave my desk and say “I just need a small break,” then I’d end up having to work well in to the evenings to meet deadlines.
Having a TV in such close proximity has been the only real downside to working from home. Now I get up, walk around, maybe get a snack or drink, take a few deep breaths and sit back down. It doesn’t work quite as well at decompressing my stress, but then I’m only spending a few minutes away at a time, so that’s to be expected. I’ve accomplished quite a bit with it gone, so the material benefits are already obvious. Plus, I’ve been falling asleep much earlier now that I spend an hour or so reading in bed instead of sitting in front of a blue light machine.
The second reason stemmed from the quality of the shows I was watching. I’m steadily becoming more sensitive to what influences I allow in my world and how they impact my thoughts and behavior. I’ve been finding I’m no longer comfortable with all the extreme violence, seriously foul language, blatant sex and assorted other debauchery, unless of course I’m in a dark mood. Then those shows call out to me in a way I can’t hardly explain. It seems that when I don’t feel God or connection with humanity for whatever reason (I suspect no one does all the time,) then I don’t seem to want to watch anything wholesome, heartwarming or uplifting. I get bored and restless and instead watch some dark jaded show (the latest being Black Mirror and The Boys) and end up just feeling vaguely polluted and yucky.
I’d noticed this pattern last month and intuitively knew the solution (thank you Holy Spirit), but wrestled with letting go. There are occasionally good shows too and I really clung to the excuse of hosting movie night with friends. Positive that I’d never see my friends if I didn’t have them over for TV. Really? As if we couldn’t dine, play games and just chat, right? Regardless of all that rationalizing, it was last Wednesday night TV that sent me over the edge. The show was just so cynical and violent that I looked up when it was over and knew down to my toes that it had to stop. I’d had enough. So, I asked a friend if she’d like an upgrade on her stuff and the wall was empty by noon the next day.
It’s taking some effort to adjust my focus and find healthier outlets, but they’re already coming… Lots more walking, reading, a bit more writing, a bit more Audible and eventually I’ll add speakers for music, which I used to play it through the TV speakers. Plus my head is already clear, my conscience silent and my heart steadily lightening. Well worth the price of having to watch movies in the theater or at friends houses.
As I’m writing, I’m acutely aware of the sound of my porch fountain and almost nothing else. This is one of those times when I get to lean into the discomfort because I can already feel the excellent of this silence, slowly clearing my ears for that quiet inside nudge that is leading me in the direction of uncharted territory.
So here’s an off Facebook comment.
I could write an essay on the problems with too much TV watching and what it’s done to this culture of ours. It’s not that TV is bad, it’s simply a tool and it can be used for better purposes such as education and creativity. There are a lot of good things on television, such as documentaries, histories, science shows and some very creative and beautiful shows as well. Unfortunately, most folks use it for nothing more than entertainment and distraction. And we know that some of the entertainment is quality, but a load of it is pedestrian, sophomoric and worse some of its downright pornographic. The same problem occurs with the internet. We either choose to use it for a tool of edification or for pure distraction and debauchery.
Many years ago, Dennis Prager challenged people to keep count of how many hours of TV they were watching and consider putting that on their gravestones. Think of the gravity of that! Imagine having to own up to the hours and hours spent on nothing more than sitting and watching someone else’s life, oftentimes a fictional life , rather than living our own.
I think you’ve done a wonderful thing, and that you were truly moved by the Holy Spirit to do this. Perhaps there will be a time when you can welcome television back into your life and know that it won’t be a problem for you. God bless you my friend see you soon.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply Hope. Between TV and social media, I’d hate to see what my gravestone would say. I used to think we had unlimited opportunities to “get it right” so I wasn’t quite as focused on maximizing each day. Now… every day, hour and minute matters.